11 nov 09 onwards.. i m a certified driver!! (auto onli tho) but still! super nervous dat dae. lucky lucky. if i fail 2nd time i will jus go bang my head on e wall n cursed all e cars around me. nv in my life did i fail ani impt exams/test. =( there goes my 300+ for nth.

oh well.. job hunt begin... felt weird to b sending resumes n browsing jobs webbie everyday.. its like e first time i look for job~ e last time was jus too easy. 3rd dae i start lookin for job i gt a call for interview. got e job on the first interview n start nxt week til nw. din even went thru ani failed interviews.. or sending hundreds of resumes n onli 1 reply agony... nw beginning to feel a bit of dat.. gt some calls for interviews.. but all at weird locations. i m so picky abt job dis time.. so i tink it wld take a while ba....... i tink my current job ish jus too scary. hopefully e nxt one wld b gd! prays

ok.. dis ish an example of msning an ahtiong. after hanging out wif normal ppl like sl n cl n the ang mohs for 2 weeks. i forgot how it is like to tok to an ah tiong..

scenario: i send her an email before dis

she: i did receive the email. can u resend
me: huh why must resend
she: i did receive the email
me: oh. u DIDNT receive the email is it? u did or didnt?
she: i didnt. sorry

sometimes its a slap in e face to remind me dat nt everyone in the world is like the frens around me. n i do wish dat at least i work wif more ppl like me dan more ppl like them. ughs. jus asking her a simple ting in the morn can ignite a whole fone conversation of high n low pitch tones of long long sentences dat jus wun stop. quite a wakeup call i guess.

heard a reallie interesting story during the introduction session at the contiki.. where we r supposed to say wats our fave color, animal, color of underwear, fold or scrunch e toilet paper n a farnie story... can onli remember dis one coz its reallie farnie..

so.. a ger was travelling in london n brought her dog along.. somehow her dog died in the hostel.. she called for a cab but nobody wld wan to take a dead dog in their cab to the nearest vet for cremation. she gt no choice but to stuff her dog into an empty suitcase n drag it to the underground n take the train to the vet.. while trying to drag the suitcase down the stairs (e underground in london is realli nt travel frenly) a guy offered to help her.. she was so grateful. u noe us gers jus cant wait to throw all the manual labour to the guys? e guy ask her wats inside e suitcase as its quite heavy.. obviously she cant say its her dead dog so she say jus her normal belongings etc.. n guess wat. the man ran away with the suitcase!! its super hilarious bcoz its a dead dog inside! i wld wan to see his face when he open the suitcase. hahahahh but on a serious note.. london underground ish nt all dat safe... so take a shuttle service when u r travellin frm airport to central london! draggin suitcases along the staircases is no joke.

home for a rest. after a 12 days trip to britain. inclusive of a 8 days contiki tour (8 nites n we r drinking for 7 nites?!) oh mans. i jus reach hm n i m missing britain n e contiki ppl already. its def a gd choice gg wif e contiki tour coz its fun to travel wif 42 ppl who r frm all over e world.

every morning we will start off wif dis song on e coach...



e song ish so fitting for a coachful of ppl who look cuied frm last nite drinking n partying.

e trip ish more on sightseeing rather dan shopping. i came back with 1/3 of wat i brought there?! first time i din come back penniless frm a trip. castles visiting.. ghost walk at york (really spooky at certain spots).. scottish dinner wif a piper performing.. shiverin frm cold at the scottish highlands.. beatles tour at liverpool.. n harry potter pic taking at oxford n 9 3/4 platform at king cross. every nite was spend at a pub.. we only went clubbin wif them twice tho coz we r too tired to stay til 3-4 every nite.

british ish such a historical n pretty place! i feel like reading up soooo mani things when i m there. i ve decided tat i shall stop e anime n hk shows watching n start to read up on e history n culture of europe n uk! so mani places there haf lots of interesting stories behind them. oh man. starting to feel e start of the post trip depression..................

4 hrs to boarding time. i hope no donald incident will happen again. omgs. been tinkin n dreamin of dis day for mths. n its finally here!!! excited.scared.nervous.tired after packing. squeezing one blazer, one windbreaker n one fluffy coat is no joke sia. my luggage ish FULL. (still can b extended wif room for 1-2bags, 2-3 dresses, 2-3 tops, 1 pair of shoes, 2 jeans/pants/skirts)

so exciting!!! japan trip wasnt planned by me at all so dun haf as much anticipation as dis. been browsing google map of central london til i can memorise the map quite well le. i tink i m gettin reallie good in geog with e inclusion of europe n uk! so nw.. jus prayin to meet fun n nice company during e trip n lots of cheap n goooood bargains!! oh yeah!

**UKing frm 12-24 Oct... my autumn 2009... =)

i m so sorrie boss. but dis ish all dats on my mind right now. totally in hols mood. gone gone. my heart has finally left san fran n reaches london.

**note: dis is nt the singapore flyer >.<

looking at excel with lots of numbers for 2 days.. copy paste sum average... rushing figures n graphs til 2 plus am n waking up at 7am to face e EXCELS again ish terribleee... i m feeling soooooooooooooo sianed while rushing the excels with an auntie in frnt of me talking non stop even tho i look like i m focusin on the numbers n busyyyyyyyy....

seriously.. i feel like jus walking out n go to bintan or wat for short hols nw n then!! everyone nids vitamins in life.. n luckily.... my vitamins is currrently UK! tinking of wat to wear.. wat to buy.. where to go.. what to see rejuvenate n revitalize me! whu nids massage n spa n all e pampering.. i jus nid long flightts.. lots of luggage to drag.. fun hostels.. drinks.. canon cam n e usual buddies!! jus googling e weather there i oso feel shiok sia. anything is better dan work n work n work with naggy ppl. i tink e nxt time i go for interview.. first qns to ask them will b is my direct sup a male or female.. female... old.. n single.. is an ultimate non touchable combo!! hazard sia!

ok. tokin abt hazards. damns. i m so sianed abt wat happen on 26 sep 09.. thanks to all dat remmeber n wish me luck... i felt SO lost after wat happen n was jus walkin around feelin like i nid to punch someone. luckily.. a nice meal n wine wif nice chicken wings makes me feel better n all ready for my 15 hrs non stop sleep. ughs!!! next time die die oso mus pass!!!! #@$#@%$%$%#$%#$%$#%$$#%$^%$^%

oh yea! theres yet another ah tiong employed into the company! we can change name to little china already! omgs lo. i tot ok out in the workforce.. dun nid to haf contact wif them animore.. i m soooooo wrong.. i tink nw in the company.. 60% is ah tiongs lo.. be it they r already PR or haf been in spore or wat.. i m a minority in e company!!! *bu shuang* omgs.. if i reallie go n count.. i tink theres only 5 pure singaporeans in my company?! e rest are all PRs.. faints. i m so depressed. i m a minority in my hometown.. seriously e stupid gov ish giving out PR like tissue paper lo. anihow come spore to study for 1 yr den gt pr invitation letter. lidat oso can. i nid to go get a green card or someting soon. jus in case spore bcome little china.. which i tink is sooooooon. kopitiam oso them.. bus driver oso them.. go shoppin oso see them.. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!

seriously!!! how i wish i m back in sch.. although sch gt a lot of ATs n ah nehs n weird ppl... u can choose nt to sit beside them.. nt to do proj wif them.. so basically u jus noe the face n tat hes in ur abc class. DATS ALL!

but in work?! u dun like the old hongkiee so wat? still haf to tok to him.. u dun like the ATs.. so wat?! u still haf to contact them make frens wif them so that they will work n u can do urwork.. *AANGRIEEE* why ish there so mani weirdos in e world?! hais. todae gt dis guy come for interview for accounts.. he go n ask me why mus ans the qns in the test.. why mus ans dis qns nt related to accounts.. he nw nt in the mood to do the qns.. gt headache cannot concentrate.. den argue wif me for like 10 mins abt why he dun wan to fill up the nt related qns n form. i m liek dis ish the company regulations of coz u haf to fill up? everyone fill up n hes e first person to tok so much! den he go on n tell me his sob story dat he n his wife ish conned by many ppl.. he dun trust ppl animore.. he dun trust local companies animore.. i m like wth.. u dun trust ppl how can u survive in dis world? u haf to do ur own judgement wat. 40+yrs old le still cant do gd judgement mehs?! den dun trust local ppl. seriously singapore is the SAFEST country in the world.. i dunno where else he can survive if he tink spore ppl cant b trusted lo. jus go to china n see wat happen. eat food oso will get poisoned one k. UGHS!

hais.. interacting wif ppl ish e most headache thing in the world. why e hell did i choose HR sia. i shld prob choose logistics or smt den jus count stock everyday. but i tink i will b bored to death. oh mans.. life cant b perfect.. but i wish ican find a place where at least i dun work wif weird ppl all e time.. dun nid smart ppl u noe. jus nid responsible n normal logical ppl can le.

its all set. we r gg UK from 12 - 24 october!

our 8 day tour with contiki:
http://ph.contiki.com/tours/130-great-britain-winter

hopefully the tour is filled wif fun ppl.. as they r supposed to b for age 18-35 aniwae! pls dun let us meet some weirdos!! it will b a relaxing sightseeing 8 days... i m so lookin fwd to the ghost walk at york!! but other dan dat it seems like a tour full of sightseeing thingys..

so.. e focus is actually on the 4 days at london all by ourselves! booked YHA hostel which gt highest ratings at hostelworld.com.. pls dun let us meet weird ppl like the half naked guy in NYC hostel.. n.. plannin e london trip ish so much like plannin a new york trip! theres musicals... wan to watch shows like les miserables (nid to noe how to pronounce w.o xia swayin in frnt of the british..) wicked or chicago.. (no more shows like grease... =X) quite tempted to watch mamma mia as well! n omgs london bridge ish like so london bridgeish.. king cross station reminds me of monopoly... n dis time.. maybe we will skip e museums.. prob jus visit one free admission one if we gt no money left n nid to kill time... theres e palace, castle, oxford uni (harry potter!!).. mayb will drop by one of the garden? (doesnt it jus remind u of central park at nyc!)

suddenli 4 days at london ish SO nt enuff.. but considering our budget.. i tink mayb its a wise decision.. ahhh.. i m jus so excited abt e trip! lucky we din go korea as planned.. its so nt exciting... but egypt n south africa n the extreme sports in NZ is so tempting as well!! soon soon.. skydiving will b nxt!

i hate it when ppl around me r gg travelling but i m NOT! sucks.. e feeling of being left behind in dis tiny dot ish suffocating. BOO. cl ish gg so mani places dis few mths.. n sy is gg japan dis week.. n mk jus told me he gg to london/paris/amsterdam dis yr end. *faints*!!!! DUN TEMPT ME! my bank dun haf enuff to fulfill dis sinful desires!

so lookin fwd to NATAS fair dis mth end so dat we can finally confirmed dat we r gg travelling in ocT! i jus hope that we stick to the relatively cheap korea instead of suddenli jump into bookin another country tour (like egypt.. s africa.. greece.. omg i m jus so tempted to go greece!) suddenli the grass look greener on the other continents.. oh well gerfren suddenli ask us out last weekend. like surprisingly la considerin his absence for abt half a yr? realising dat travelling ish nt as 'crazieely fun' animore. i shld start on the 'relaxing n peaceful' type of hols on my path to bcomin a demure n mature lady i guess. no more lame pics.

hehe. inspired by my driving lessons recently. i jus feel like i m on dis looong loong road.. dunno whats at the end of the destination. feeling lost recently like i m driving on this road for a few hrs n i still cant find a gas station or a town in sight.. need to buy a new gprs to guide me to the correct place so tat i wun keep gettin lost. reallie wonder wats ahead rite at the end.. i NEED A GOOD GPRS SOON!!!

so my day started lidats..

11AM:

received a call frm one of the boutique.. asking about her commission and why is she not entitled to commission when she is transferred to another boutique recently.. so she nag n nag its nt fair that she gt no comm at the transferred boutique.. so i feel a bit bad at first coz no comm at the 2nd boutique. THEn i check her sales figures, she did not even meet the min target of 10k to be entitled to commission. so why the hell is she calling me and ask me abcdefg abt her comm!? so i called her n tell her hey u did nt meet ur min target lehh so no comm wat. AND THEN she started gg on n on abt its nt fair la dat we change the scheme.. nw economic recession.. i dunno e situation nw.. last time they agreed to give her abcdefgfijk.....

seriously. even tho shes old, doesnt mean we shld give her higher salary when she did nt even perform 50% of a cheaper sales ger tat is much younger. n everyone is gg thru dis new scheme so why shld she b an exception. its nt like shes talented to the max and we haf to give her lots of $$ to retain her n stuff. HELLOOOO. dis ish nt japan wif e seniority wage scheme. go japan la if u wan to get paid according to ur age. its the age of PRODUCTIVITY. stop naggin n naggin. i realli gt no patience wif old ppl. zero tolerance esp when they start nagging.


12NooN:

someone called n ask me if i heard abt the latest news of the MONSTER doing in the company. he deserves the name of MONSTER in the company whereby dis dear nickname is shared by everyone within 1 mth of his entry in the co. so they keep tellin me wat he did.. how they cant stand him animore.. if he dun go someone is gg to quit.. dis ish like the 10th time i talk to them abt the MONSTER.. tryin to console them.. tell them jus endure... things will b better.. why nt we try dis n dat so that we wun get to handle shit from the MONSTER so much etc.. no matter how bastardish he ish (telling one of e sales ger to nt make him slap her in frnt of e customer). his skills as programmer n engineer is still needed in the company.. all we nid to do ish jus b polite n tok to him WHEN necessary so tat our paths dun cross much. i guess its more tiring for them since their jobs cross quite frequently.. but aiyos. u all dun haf the skills so how can i kick him out leh. if u haf the skills tat he possess.. or able to hire new one tat is not a monster. I WILL BE THE FIRST TO FIRE HIM!! but sadly, all of us cant do his work. so jus endure hell wif him ba.

3PM

ok. one of e manager call n tell me abt the old woman issue.. so she started nagging again. i dun understand ppl's need to explain the situation to the slighest details when u noe the other party know 90% of the situation. n since shes more senior dan me. surely she know how to handle without the need for me to worry abt the situation after she analyse ritee. its doing double work wat. if u can handle. go ahead straight. theres no one else more senior n exp dan u. sometimes jus haf to act ur age n exp ba. dun behave like a year 1 tat haf to ask everyones opinion bfore u can make e decision. there r SO mani times when she called n tell me abt situations abcdefghijk.. n then i haf to go n understand the situations, then find a solution, propose to my boss, ONLY to realise dat she haf already told him before me n they have already come wif a solution to that situation. i jus feel like a monkey doing wateva she do only to find that i m jus performing a show n no one is looking.

its hard to respect someone when she need to get opinion abt the simplest thing from the boss. n from e exp of her making me do double work 99% of the time. how can i nt b smart but to ignore her almost all the time? i m getting more n more tired from talkin to her. todae she ask me to do smt again so i just kinda flare at her n HINT her using the simplest thing tat nxt time jus follow e method, dun go do smt tat u tot is efficient but in the end make me do double work n the results is the same. i tink she get my hint tat i m gettin impatient by her already.


i was tinkin thru wat my aunt told me once. why i choose hr. its e most diff thing to do coz u nid to handle a lot of ugly issues frm the ppl. now i realli understand wat she meant.

bottomline: i am not happy at my job.

oh no. dis ish bad. e old me ish coming back.. i m cravingg for MJ.. tinking of calling in sick every morn.. I AM BACK! e nua me that jus wan to haf fun n dun care abt aniting else ish coming back. haha. i tink i ve been pretty responsible n hardworkin for e past 9 mths. which can b considered a miracle as everyone noe i m nuaed. but... engine slowing.. MJ coming.. TA DA! i m back n i wan jus wan to b myself frm nw on! doing tings thats against wat i realli wan is tiring. like being nice to a AT at work, during lunch, n on e way hm reallie tires me.. theres a limit to how much i can make small tok to someone i dun realli wan to do dat to. my professionalism ish wearing out. i cant work wif ATs. its reallie reallie my limit. soon.. i will b myself again.

i nearlie lost my laptop yest.. its such a scary exp. i was happily eating n walkin hm when suddenli i realise how come i m nt holding my laptop?! *feelin so relaxed coz theres no burden on my hands* n then omgs. my mind went blank! i went to bus stop to see if i left it there but dun haf. so i sat down n stoned. luckily i called charles n keith at j8 n they say they found it there.if nt i will jus cry la!! its like so mani work stuff inside which ish nt back up. if i lost it i m so dead..

so i m happie i gt my laptop back.. then. todae i received email frm e dumb dell that say my order is cancelled. UGHS. there goes my $1200 red laptop that i ordered last week. still waitin for them to get back to me abt e order.. its so weird. i nearli lost my old laptop but got it back. i ordered my new laptop but its gone. so. m i destined to continue using dis gg to 4 yrs old acer? *sad*

its back to the daes when i always gt a shock when i update my bank book or check my balance enquiry.. why?! why does the number always go down?! why ish the withdrawals always more than e deposit?! e big qns: WHY AM I ALWAYS BROKE?

so.. this shall no longer be a general blog.. it shall be a blog to RECORD what i haf done to become dis state..

craziee expenses recently:

1. Japan + bag (est. $3.8k)
2. Driving lessons (est. $2k)
3. New Dell laptop (est. $1.2k) its a red one!!!
4. Fone (est. $100)

and to save up for upcoming expenses:

1. October trip to...... ? not confirmed yet.. but prob need to save $3k.. coz we r probably gg hokkaido! snow snowww!!! my white xmas dream coming trueee..

2. no other expenses coz no income to support it animore...

sux. being a salaried worker ish nt gg to take me aniwhere dis lifetime. i will always be stuck in dis vicious cycle of saving to travel then broke n save again to travel. i need to find new ways of increasing my finances!!! pls tip me if u haf a way of making money!

it must haf been some bad karma or smt.. a simple n nice getaway to japan for 12 days can be filled with SO mani complications. its like e first time i haf to overcome so mani ups n downs jus to plan to go on a trip...

1. getting leave from my boss..

after working.. getting a 14 days leave is actually quite difficult! unless u r doin auditing. my heart was pounding when i take my leave form to show him.. i was like so scared dat i will be rejected! its been a while bfore i feel so nervous. hahah but lucky. its approved w/o much comments! *stage 1 completed*

2. swine flu appears...

n then.. e supposedly deadly n more serious dan sars flu appear.. everyday more n more countries kena.. watchin news is like watching the lottery numbers of e dae to appear on tv. whether the 4 digit number u haf (country in my case) is listed on the tv. japan wasnt listed initially n we tot ok just go ahead la wun b so suay one right... *stage 2 completed*

3. its in japan...

ok. 12 days before e flight.. after e flight. accomodations. sumo tickets are booked. japan gt e flu tingy. but because they r found on the plane. so we tot ok no internal cases. jus go ahead! but keep the plan on hold first jus in case..

4. its within japan..

nvm. 4 daes bfore the flight. internal swine flu case in japan. #$#%$^%^%&. gg to japan will b so troublesome.. with the checkin on the plane etc. hais. since its already so close to the flight.. we r jus going ahead. i mean kobe is a few hrs frm tokyo anyway n we r nt gg there.

5. sick.

ok. finally. external conditions like e stupid flu can jus ignore. BUT!! my wisdom tooth coming out.. so my gum is swollen.. throat inflammed.. n cant chew with my right side in case it bleeds. n huiling oso haf gum swelling same time as me n she haf to get an injection. i mean.. how can it b so qiao that both of us haf gum swellin (tho mine is coz of e stupid tooth) n falling sick jus a few days frm e trip?! we haven met for a few weeks oso so its nt like we spread to each other or smt?! i m so scared dat i will get fever coz of inflammation n got quarantined at narita airport. SOBZ.

ultimate suayness. dis ish how i feel nw sia. jus gg on a 12 days trip can b so eventful even bfore gg on e trip. i mean last time gg on a 3 mths trip to US was so smooth sailing can. jus a tiny litle 12 day trip can b like dis. BOO. mayb its a sign that i shld just work n work n work in singapore.

praying that the japan trip will b simple n NOT eventful please. my heart can take rollercoasters ride like magnum but nt dis type of ups n downs. haf to get an amulet straightaway after touchin down in japan for luck n health sia.

it feels weird to haf nth urgent to rush dis few days.. last 2 weeks ish full of rushin dis n that.. den suddenli. jus doin filing n admin job n clearin e pile of papers on my table.. suddenli feel soooooooo nua n nuaed. if onliee i can spend one dae at a thrill ride park n jus spend e whole dae screamin at rides. dat wld b perfect.. smt to make my heart beat a little faster instead of jus beatin e same dae by dae.

so.. to motivate myself a little n to make dis life seems more bright n meaningful..

plans to achieved in 2009:

1) drivin license (basic theory on 29th! a little late but at least i m starting....)

2) Japan/HongKong/Korea (must plan some trips ahh if nt i will go dull in dis tiny dot doin e same things routinely..)

3) save $$$ to finance my plan 2. (limit cabs to 4 times a week.. its 2 times last week n 3 times dis week so far!)

4) start playing tennis! (oh well.. been talkin abt it since oct 08.. it will definitely happen by oct 09)

thats all i can tink of for dis yr... but i guess once i start learnin drivin den will be occupying my free time quite a bit le. as for work wise.. hmmm.............. no comments. aim for promotion/bonus ba? to fiance plan 2!

awww.. i nid some cute guys at work or aniwhere to brighten up my days. =(

where r e cute guys?! anione will do! (preferably tanned n tall n sporty with a great smile!)

my life feels like some drama serial to me recently.. i feel like i m havin split personalities.. when with frens n at work.. life ish jus e same as usual.. but when i go hm. hmm. sometimes i m able to jus feel dat shes on hols. but sometimes its kinda hard.. i dunno how to describe seeing someone u luv gettin sick.. gettin weaker n weaker. n all u can do ish to wish dat her sufferin will end soon. i haf been gettin myself prepared for dis ever since she went hosp durin cny.. been tinkin of how it wld b like durin e funeral..

nw tinkin back.. i always tot dat when she ish leaving i will feel smt or see some signs? but i din.. it was jus a normal dae at work discussing abt money issues.. when i saw the msg: come home now. i jus told my boss abt it n arranged to work part time nxt week onwards. i noe its coming but i jus din expect it to b so sudden. feel a bit paiseh coz my colleague send me back hm n i wan to cry but i cant coz hes beside. so tryin to control in e car. e sight at hm doesnt seem real to me. i was hopin dat shes still waitin for me but she left oredi. n u noe in the movies. she din close her eyes fully until my bro came hm. such tings do happen for real sia. e first n last dae ish e worst. at least we r busy durin e funeral n there r a lot of ppl around us. but e last dae when she was cremated. well. i tink its e worst dae of my life. n oso e moment when they sealed e cof.

well. e worst is over. i m glad dat i haf lots of relatives n frens dat cares. esp those dat turn up unexpectedly.. n of coz ps for comin over everynite when i stayed up. i ve seen e ugly side of human nature as well. but i learnt dat in life u dun haf much time n energy. so jus ignore this kinda ppl. but its oso scary dat when one pass away. everything else is the same. e world still goes on w or w/o u. n its oso sad dat she din fulfil her dream of gg to a lot of places.. so dats y. no pt workin n workin n workin when u r young tinkin dat u can enjoy life when u r older etc. COZ. life ish short. when u die. onli ur family n frens will b around u. career n money will nt be missing u much.

feelin aimless recently.. wanted to quit my job but no one seems to b supporting me in dis. sigh. i shall jus wait n see how long i can tahan. n complain non stop as well. totally no motivation to go to work los. but ok la i will jus endure til oct den go travel! save up a bit in the meanwhile to support myself for a few mths w/o work. tsk tsk. feel like furtherin studies oso. but once i tink of need to write thesis i sianed. so i shall put dat plan on hold........ until i feel dat writin thesis ish quite fun.

whuever ish readin dis. pls treasure ur family. they r seriously e most impt ppl in e world.